Struggling with High Sexual Desire and Self-Control

Question #27259

92 days ago

284

Struggling with High Sexual Desire and Self-Control - #27259

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Hello, I am 21 years old, and for the past 3 years I have been experiencing a high level of sexual desire. At first it was occasional, but over time it has become more frequent. The desire is not only triggered by explicit content; sometimes it comes suddenly without any clear reason, during the day or before sleep. When it happens, I feel a strong urge that makes it difficult to focus on studying or completing my tasks until I masturbate. Before Ramadan, I was masturbating almost daily. During Ramadan, I try to abstain, but I often return to it after fasting. I have tried to stop multiple times, and the longest period I managed was 2–3 days. I feel regret after masturbating, and I am worried about continuing this behavior and how it might affect my future. It sometimes affects my concentration and sleep if I try to resist the urge. I occasionally use pornography, but the sexual desire exists even without it. I maintain my religious practices and pray regularly, and I ask God to make things easier for me and help me marry in the future to avoid sinful behavior, but currently I struggle with self-control. I do not have any chronic illnesses and I do not take medications. I sleep about 6–8 hours per night. I would like to know whether this is normal for my age, or if it requires psychological evaluation or hormonal testing. Are there behavioral or medical treatments that could help me manage my sexual urges better?

How would you rate the intensity of your sexual urges?:

- Overwhelming, hard to control

What strategies have you tried to manage your sexual urges?:

- None, I haven't tried anything

Have you experienced any changes in your mood or mental health related to these urges?:

- Moderate anxiety or stress

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Doctors' responses

Dr. Bharat Joshi

I’m a periodontist and academician with a strong clinical and teaching background. Over the last 4 years and 8 months, I’ve been actively involved in dental education, guiding students at multiple levels including dental hygienist, BDS, and MDS programs. Currently, I serve as a Reader at MMCDSR in Ambala, Haryana—a role that allows me to merge my academic passion with hands-on experience. Clinically, I’ve been practicing dentistry for the past 12 years. From routine procedures like scaling and root planing to more advanced cases involving grafts, biopsies, and implant surgeries. Honestly, I still find joy in doing a simple RCT when it’s needed. It’s not just about the procedure but making sure the patient feels comfortable and safe. Academically, I have 26 research publications to my credit. I’m on the editorial boards of the Archives of Dental Research and Journal of Dental Research and Oral Health, and I’ve spent a lot of time reviewing manuscripts—from case reports to meta-analyses and even book reviews. I was honored to receive the “Best Editor” award by Innovative Publications, and Athena Publications recognized me as an “excellent reviewer,” which honestly came as a bit of a surprise! In 2025, I had the opportunity to present a guest lecture in Italy on traumatic oral lesions. Sharing my work and learning from peers globally has been incredibly fulfilling. Outside academics and clinics, I’ve also worked in the pharmaceutical sector as a Drug Safety Associate for about 3 years, focusing on pharmacovigilance. That role really sharpened my attention to detail and deepened my understanding of drug interactions and adverse effects. My goal is to keep learning, and give every patient and student my absolute best.

92 days ago

Hello dear
No it is not abnormal
It is due physiological variation which occurs during young age.
It just require focus and self control.
I am suggesting some precautions.
Please follow them for atleast two months
Do physical exercise atleast half an hour daily for 5 months
Do meditation
Take good balanced diet for good health
Engage in social media
Indulge in hobbies like reading and writing
Avoid overthinking
Avoid junk food and alcohol/ smoking
Set your goals for every day
Avoid masturbation or watching porn regularly
Give break slowly and slowly for atleast 2 days regarding masturbation
Hopefully improvement will occur
In case of no improvement in 2 month consult psychiatrist in person for better clarity
Regards

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Dr. Arsha K Isac

I am a general dentist with 3+ years of working in real-world setups, and lemme say—every single patient teaches me something diff. It’s not just teeth honestly, it’s people… and how they feel walking into the chair. I try really hard to not make it just a “procedure thing.” I explain stuff in plain words—no confusing dental jargon, just straight talk—coz I feel like when ppl *get* what's going on, they feel safer n that makes all the difference. Worked with all ages—like, little kids who need that gentle nudge about brushing, to older folks who come in with long histories and sometimes just need someone to really sit n listen. It’s weirdly rewarding to see someone walk out lighter, not just 'coz their toothache's gone but coz they felt seen during the whole thing. A lot of ppl come in scared or just unsure, and I honestly take that seriously. I keep the vibe calm. Try to read their mood, don’t rush. I always tell myself—every smile’s got a story, even the broken ones. My thing is: comfort first, then precision. I want the outcome to last, not just look good for a week. Not tryna claim perfection or magic solutions—just consistent, clear, hands-on care where patients feel heard. I think dentistry should *fit* the person, not push them into a box. That's kinda been my philosophy from day one. And yeah, maybe sometimes I overexplain or spend a bit too long checking alignment again but hey, if it means someone eats pain-free or finally smiles wide in pics again? Worth it. Every time.

92 days ago

Hello
At 21 years old, having a strong sexual desire is very common and usually normal.
High libido at this age is mainly due to higher levels of the hormone testosterone.
It does not usually require hormonal testing or medical treatment unless there are other symptoms.
What you describe becomes a concern only if it starts interfering with daily life, like studies, sleep, or causing distress.
Helpful strategies:
•	Avoid pornography and sexual triggers as much as possible.
•	Stay physically active (exercise, sports) to reduce sexual tension.
•	Keep yourself busy with study, work, or hobbies.
•	Improve sleep routine and avoid staying alone with your phone at night.
•	Practice mindfulness or prayer/meditation when urges appear.
•	Limit idle time, which often increases urges.
Important: Masturbation itself is not harmful medically, but frequent use with pornography can increase urges and make control harder.
When to seek professional help:
If urges feel compulsive, uncontrollable, or cause significant anxiety, speaking with a psychologist or counselor can help with behavioral control techniques.
✅ Summary: Your situation is very common at your age, and usually managed with lifestyle changes and self-control strategies, not medication.
I trust this helps
Thank you
Take care

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Dr. Shayeque Reza

I completed my medical degree in 2023, but honestly, my journey in healthcare started way before that. Since 2018, I’ve been actively involved in clinical practice—getting hands-on exposure across multiple departments like ENT, pediatrics, dermatology, ophthalmology, medicine, and emergency care. One of the most intense and defining phases of my training was working at a District Government Hospital for a full year during the COVID pandemic. It was chaotic, unpredictable, and exhausting—but it also grounded me in real-world medicine like no textbook ever could. Over time, I’ve worked in both OPD and IPD setups, handling everything from mild viral fevers to more stubborn, long-term conditions. These day-to-day experiences really built my base and taught me how to stay calm when things get hectic—and how to adjust fast when plans don’t go as expected. What I’ve learned most is that care isn't only about writing the right medicine. It’s about being fully there, listening properly, and making sure the person feels seen—not just treated. Alongside clinical work, I’ve also been exposed to preventive health, health education, and community outreach. These areas really matter to me because I believe real impact begins outside the hospital, with awareness and early intervention. My approach is always centered around clarity, empathy, and clinical logic—I like to make sure every patient knows exactly what’s going on and why we’re doing what we’re doing. I’ve always felt a pull towards general medicine and internal care, and honestly, I’m still learning every single day—each patient brings a new lesson. Medicine never really sits still, it keeps shifting, and I try to shift with it. Not just in terms of what I know, but also in how I listen and respond. For me, it’s always been about giving real care. Genuine, respectful, and the kind that actually helps a person heal—inside and out.

92 days ago

At the age of 21, experiencing a strong sexual desire is generally normal because hormone levels, especially Testosterone, are naturally high during early adulthood. Masturbation itself is not medically harmful when done in moderation; however, when the urges feel overwhelming and start affecting concentration, studies, sleep, or causing anxiety and guilt, it may indicate difficulty with impulse control rather than a medical disease. In most cases, this does not require hormonal testing if there are no other symptoms such as extreme mood changes, abnormal sexual behavior, or physical problems. The focus should be on behavioral strategies such as reducing exposure to pornography, keeping yourself engaged in physical activity or study routines, maintaining regular sleep, practicing relaxation techniques, and limiting idle time that can trigger urges.If the urges continue to feel uncontrollable or cause significant distress, speaking with a mental health professional specializing in Clinical Psychology can help with counseling and self-control techniques. In summary, strong sexual urges at your age are common, but learning healthy coping strategies and managing triggers can help you maintain better focus, emotional balance, and control over the behavior.

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Dr. Nikhil Chauhan

I am currently working as a urologist and kidney transplant surgeon at Graphic Era Medical College & Hospital, Dehradun. It's a role that keeps me on my toes, honestly. I handle a pretty wide range of urology cases—stones, prostate issues, urinary tract obstructions, infections, you name it. Some are straightforward, others way more complex than you expect at first glance. Every patient walks in with a different story and that’s what keeps the work real for me. Kidney transplant surgery, though, that’s a whole different zone. You’re not just working on anatomy—you’re dealing with timelines, matching, medications, family dynamics, emotional pressure... and yeah, very precise coordination. I’m part of a team that manages the entire transplant process—from evaluation to surgery to post-op care. Not gonna lie, it’s intense. But seeing someone who’s been on dialysis for years finally get a new shot at life—there’s nothing really like that feeling. In the OR, I’m detail-focused. Outside of it, I try to stay accessible—patients don’t always need answers right away, sometimes they just need to feel heard. I believe in walking them through what’s going on rather than just giving reports and instructions. Especially in transplant cases, trust matters. And clear, honest conversation helps build that. Urology itself is such a misunderstood field sometimes. People ignore symptoms for years because it feels “awkward” or they think it’s not serious until it becomes unmanageable. I’ve had patients who came in late just because they were embarassed to talk about urine flow or testicular pain. That’s why I also try to make the space judgment-free—like whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. At the end of the day, whether I’m scrubbing in for surgery or doing OPD rounds, I just want to make sure what I do *actually* helps. That the effort’s not wasted. And yeah, some days are frustrating—some procedures don’t go clean, some recoveries take longer than they should—but I keep showing up, cause the work’s worth doing. Always is.

92 days ago

Hi,
Thank you for reaching out with your concern. It is completely understandable to feel worried, but please know that you are not alone in this.
Here is a crisp, point-wise guide to address your questions:
· Is this normal for your age? Yes, absolutely. At 21, you are at your peak reproductive age. High sexual desire (libido) driven by testosterone is completely normal and expected.
· Do you need hormonal testing? Probably not right now. Your issue is more likely the intensity of a normal drive rather than a hormonal abnormality. Testing is usually reserved if there are symptoms of a glandular problem.
· Does it require psychological evaluation? Not necessarily a “disorder,” but you need strategies. The anxiety and regret you feel after masturbation are often due to the internal conflict between desire and self-control.
· Behavioral Strategies (Best First Step):
· Channel the energy: Intense physical exercise (like running, gym) is the single best way to burn off excess energy and lower the baseline urge.
· Structured routine: Keep your day busy with studies, hobbies, and socializing. Boredom is a major trigger.
· Sleep Hygiene: You sleep 6-8 hours, which is good. Ensure you go to bed tired (physically and mentally) to avoid lying awake with intrusive thoughts.
· Mindfulness: When a sudden urge hits, acknowledge it without judgment (“This is a normal biological signal”), take deep breaths for 2-3 minutes, and then intentionally shift your focus to a task. The urge usually peaks and fades within 10-15 minutes.
Medical Note:
Since you have no chronic illnesses and are not on medication, there is no indication for ED medications here. This is a matter of hormonal-behavioral synchronization, not a medical deficiency.
Continue your religious practices and ask for strength. This phase of intense drive does settle down as you age and as you learn to manage it with healthy habits.
Dr. Nikhil Chauhan
Urologist

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Dr. Prasannajeet Singh Shekhawat

I am a 2023 batch passout and working as a general physician right now, based in Hanumangarh, Rajasthan. Still kinda new in the bigger picture maybe, but honestly—every single day in this line teaches you more than textbooks ever could. I’ve had the chance to work under some pretty respected doctors during and after my graduation, not just for the clinical part but also to see how they handle people, real people, in pain, in panic, and sometimes just confused about their own health. General medicine covers a lot, right? Like from the smallest complaints to those random, vague symptoms that no one really understands at first—those are kinda my zone now. I don’t really rush to label things, I try to spend time actually listening. Feels weird to say it but ya, I do take that part seriously. Some patients just need someone to hear the whole story instead of jumping to prescription pads after 30 seconds. Right now, my practice includes everything from managing common infections, blood pressure issues, sugar problems to more layered cases where symptoms overlap and you gotta just... piece things together. It's not glamorous all the time, but it's real. I’ve handled a bunch of seasonal disease waves too, like dengue surges and viral fevers that hit rural belts hard—Hanumangarh doesn’t get much spotlight but there’s plenty happening out here. Also, I do rely on basics—thorough history, solid clinical exam and yeah when needed, investigations. But not over-prescribing things just cz they’re there. One thing I picked up from the senior consultants I worked with—they used to say “don’t chase labs, chase the patient’s story”... stuck with me till now. Anyway, still learning every single day tbh. But I like that. Keeps me grounded and kind of obsessed with trying to get better.

91 days ago

Hello
It’s completely normal to have concerns about sexual urges and behaviors, especially at your age. Many people experience similar feelings, and it’s great that you’re seeking to understand and manage them better. Here are some thoughts and suggestions:
### Understanding Your Situation:
1. Normalcy: Masturbation is a common behavior, and many people engage in it. However, if it’s causing you distress or interfering with your daily life, it might be worth exploring further.
2. Regret and Guilt: Feeling regret after masturbating can be a sign that you want to change your behavior. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings without being too hard on yourself.
### Behavioral Strategies:
1. Identify Triggers: Keep a journal to note when you feel the urge to masturbate. Understanding your triggers (boredom, stress, etc.) can help you find alternative coping strategies.
2. Find Alternatives: Engage in activities that keep you busy and distracted, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending time with friends. This can help reduce urges.
3. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practices like meditation, deep breathing, or yoga can help you manage stress and improve self-control.
4. Limit Pornography Exposure: Reducing or eliminating pornography can help decrease sexual urges and make it easier to manage your behavior.
### Seeking Support:
1. Talk to Someone: Consider discussing your feelings with a trusted friend, family member, or a counselor. Sometimes, sharing your thoughts can provide relief and new perspectives.
2. Professional Help: If you find that self-control continues to be a struggle, or if it significantly impacts your life, seeking help from a mental health professional can be beneficial. They can provide tailored strategies and support.
### Medical Considerations:
1. Hormonal Testing: If you have concerns about hormonal imbalances affecting your sexual urges, consulting a healthcare provider for testing might be helpful.
2. Psychological Evaluation: If you feel that your behavior is compulsive or if it leads to significant distress, a psychological evaluation can help identify any underlying issues.
### Summary:
It’s normal to have sexual urges, but if they cause distress or interfere with your life, exploring behavioral strategies and seeking support can be beneficial. Remember, change takes time, and it’s okay to seek help along the way.
Thank you

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Dr. Aarav Deshmukh

I am a general physician with 8 years of practice, mostly in urban clinics and semi-rural setups. I began working right after MBBS in a govt hospital in Kerala, and wow — first few months were chaotic, not gonna lie. Since then, I’ve seen 1000s of patients with all kinds of cases — fevers, uncontrolled diabetes, asthma, infections, you name it. I usually work with working-class patients, and that changed how I treat — people don’t always have time or money for fancy tests, so I focus on smart clinical diagnosis and practical treatment. Over time, I’ve developed an interest in preventive care — like helping young adults with early metabolic issues. I also counsel a lot on diet, sleep, and stress — more than half the problems start there anyway. I did a certification in evidence-based practice last year, and I keep learning stuff online. I’m not perfect (nobody is), but I care. I show up, I listen, I adjust when I’m wrong. Every patient needs something slightly different. That’s what keeps this work alive for me.

90 days ago

At your age, experiencing a high level of sexual desire is generally normal, as hormone levels such as testosterone can fluctuate and peak during young adulthood. However, if these urges significantly interfere with daily life or cause distress, it might be worth considering some strategies to manage them more effectively. Firstly, lifestyle changes might help. Regular exercise can serve as a physical outlet for energy and stress, potentially reducing urges. Ensure a balanced diet and maintain good sleep hygiene for overall well-being, as fatigue can sometimes exacerbate the inability to resist urges. Managing stress through mindfulness or meditation could also be beneficial. Limiting exposure to triggers like pornography may also gradually lessen the intensity of your urges. If you find that these urges are overwhelming or continue to interfere with daily responsibilities, talking to a healthcare professional can be useful. They could perform an evaluation to check if there’s a psychological component that might require attention. Sometimes, if sexual urges are problematic and persistent, a mental health professional, particularly one specialized in sexual health, might help with behavioral therapy aimed at regaining control over impulses. There’s generally no need for hormonal testing unless other symptoms suggest a hormonal imbalance, like mood swings or unusual physical changes. If your self-control challenges are significant, cognitive-behavioral strategies can help you understand triggers and find practical ways to reduce compulsive tendencies. Always remember, coping with sexual urges is a common concern, and seeking professional guidance is a pragmatic approach when simple strategies aren’t effective.

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