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Sexual Health & Wellness
Question #25077
45 days ago
75

how to make long time sex - #25077

Vedant

I am really confused about this whole thing regarding how to make long time sex happen. Like, here’s the deal – me and my partner have been together for a while, and we really care about each other but, ugh, when it comes to the bedroom stuff, it feels like we just can't find that rhythm. I feel bad even bringing it up, but it seems like things don’t last very long, if you know what I mean. Sometimes I notice my partner gets a little frustrated too. We’ve tried a few things but it just doesn’t seem to work, and honestly, I’m scared to even talk about it as I don't wanna hurt feelings or make things awkward. I read some stuff online, saw claims like, “how to make long time sex a reality," but it all sounds too good to be true. We’ve tried some foreplay, and I even read about breathing techniques or changing positions, but then it doesn’t feel like it’s leading to what we want. Is there like a secret formula or something that actually works in real life? I want to improve things for both our sakes and I just need to know how to make long time sex a thing for us. Anyone gone through similar stuff? What helped?

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Doctors' responses

Achieving a longer duration during sexual activities can be quite a common concern for couples, and it’s great that you’re looking to address it together. There isn’t exactly a “secret formula,” but there are several strategies and techniques you can consider. First, it’s important to set the right expectations– everyone’s body is different, and what works for one couple may not work the same for another. Preliminarily, open communication with your partner about both your feelings can be an essential step; sometimes the fear of discussing it might make matters more uncomfortable than necessary. Consider this: a straightforward way to potentially improve stamina is by focusing on activities outside the bedroom that indirectly contribute to sexual endurance, such as kegel exercises for strengthening pelvic floor muscles (beneficial for both men and women), practicing stress-reduction techniques as stress can affect performance, and regular cardiovascular exercise which could enhance overall stamina. Additionally, techniques during intercourse like the “start-stop” method where you pause to decrease arousal, or the squeeze technique can be effective for some. It’s also valuable to vary stimulation– incorporating more prolonged foreplay or trying different positions that may help control pace can be beneficial. Timing is another aspect to think about – one option is exploring the possibility of earlier sessions to minimize fatigue, which might naturally contribute to a more relaxed experience. Though less clinical, some couples find that incorporating novelty, like new environments or scenarios, can make sessions feel longer because of the added excitement and distraction. If these don’t yield results over time, consider seeking the guidance of a therapist or doctor who specializes in sexual health; they can offer personalized advice or explore possibilities of medical issues contributing to the issue. Remember, patience and understanding will carry you both far as resolution might take some experimenting over time.

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